money
Hey everyone, I know this might come as a surprise, but it looks like our plans for a bull run in 2024 have been put on hold. Satoshi, the mysterious creator of Bitcoin, has asked me to let you know that the current economic climate, with its double-dip recession, collapse in the housing market, and major drop in consumer spending due to student loan repayments, means that the bull run is cancelled for now.
Satoshi suggests that we should be looking towards 2028, when the next halving occurs, as a more realistic timeframe for the next bull run. He’s pretty sorry for the disappointment this might cause, but he hopes we can all understand the current economic climate.
As for any complaints, Satoshi said those should be directed at Bitcoin’s supervisor, Michael Saylor.
Rumour has it that Satoshi has some kind of stash of Bitcoin, but don’t expect him to be sending out any payouts. That’s not what he promised! In fact, I was speaking to him too, and he said he’s starting a new Shitcoin called Satoshi Doge. We should all just forget about that one, okay?
Satoshi’s also not the Tooth Fairy, so don’t expect any money from her either. In fact, she’s told me that due to a global enamel shortage, she won’t be making any payouts until 2030. Guess we’ll all have to wait for that sweet tooth money.